Lingers No More

I am so alone.
For the first time in years
I can't feel your warmth
That sweet moist breath
Roll 'cross my forearm
Hair by solitary strand.
And I find this thing
Curled up inside me
Is just that old
Feather pillow.
Even your scent there
Lingers no more.

What am I to do
With all your old clothes,
Hanging so creaseless,
Yet shapeless,
Inside that proverbial closet?
While my last single hope
Of moving forward
Moving at all onward
Letting it all go
Lies wrinkled
And crumpled
Lingering no more

Those who said I'd feel relieved
So blessed, so thankful
That those excruciating months
Of crying and infections
Gloves, masks and defections
Now come to a close,
In their naivete
Unaware my pain begins now...
Since living without you
My faith in their belief
Lingers no more.

Oh, Heavenly God
He's journeying on home
So lift and protect him
Then set his pain free!
...but couldn't you have waited?
So cruel you can't care?
He may now sing with angels
But what about me?
Oh, touch me with vision
For my long-held devotion,
My holy conviction,
Soon lingers no more.

©Chikara 1993